Realization #1 - I'M 34 YEARS OLD WITH NO PROSPECTS OF LEAVING SINGLE-DOM AND JOINING THE BETROTHED WORLD. This is okay, if I convince myself of the most heard cliche in my life: "you just haven't met the right one, he's out there, you just wait". UMMM (raising my hand timidly as if I was in 9th grade Algebra all over again), how long am I to wait exactly?? Here's the thing... I'm smart and, more importantly, wise enough to know that I don't need to or want to "settle". I realize that I need to find that person that is first and foremost a best friend. Got it! Now, how to find that. I've wasted untold amounts of money trying the 2 big sites of the online dating world. NOTHING! NADA! ZIP! ZILCH! I shall not continue to pad their bank accounts. And leading me to this decision...
Realization #2 - Life is a freakin' carousel! It looks all pretty, shiny, whimsical. OOOOOOOH! "These people look so happy!" I get closer. It's not a carousel of horses, giraffes, tigers, lions.... it's a carousel of life. Wedding bells, new homes, baby carriages, beach vacations in place of the typical animals. I try to jump on as we did when we were kids and trying to hop on the merry-go-round after it was already spinning. I get ready, keep trying to make the leap but just can't quite grab onto it. I look like a cat preparing to pounce on prey except without the actual pounce so essentially I look like I'm having some sort of seizure. "How do you get ON this thing?" Wait, these people are happy but I also see some strained smiles, furrowed brows and anxious kids in soccer uniforms. So maybe this ride isn't all that great? Or maybe it's great for some but not for others... not all it's cracked up to be? Regardless, it's a carousel. It's going by me, spinning slowly but not slow enough to be able to just hop on without effort. "I want to get on and enjoy it ALL! Don't I?" I'm a bystander watching the folks in my sphere of influence raise their kids, fawn over their handsome husbands, take nice vacations, fix up their homes together. "There's got to be a way onto this crazy-wild-fun-amazing-sometimes-sad-spinning machine of pretty colors and smiles?!!"
So I wander off leaving the carousel and its happy-but-sorta-creepy organ music playing. Maybe I'll just get a big, overpriced beer and a funnel cake then work my over to the "Fun House". At least I know what that's about; it's not fun, it's frightening so no secret there. Or I may go to the "Lucky Duck" booth and maybe, just maybe I'll pick the winning duck. Nah.... I'll just stick with the beer and funnel cake.
