Won't You Be My (loud, annoying, overachieving) Neighbor!?

So I've been working from home for the last 2 months. Being that it is Autumn, I have really tried to enjoy the weather by having the doors and windows open. Unfortunately, my neighbors (1 next door and 1 backyard) have both simultaneously retired. Apparently, retired men sign some sort of agreement to work for hours at a time, outside of their home ... very LOUDLY.

I have made the mad dash to slam the back door while trying to also talk to a client because the backyard neighbor busts out the leaf blower...apparently, there were a few rogue pine needles that had not been blown into submission in his earlier venture. This was not as simple as it would seem....I am working through a VoIP phone that is used with a headset tethered to the laptop. In trying to slam the door before the client on the other end of the phone hears the whirring of a leaf blower frantically trying to blow every speck of dust off of a driveway, I give myself whiplash because I fail to remember my whole self is attached to the computer. While injuring myself I manage to also knock over my hot coffee in it's personalized travel mug....that I failed to close. I watch helplessly (because my feet, head and possibly one of the cats is tangled in the cord from the headset) as the coffee glugs out onto the carpet.

I untangle myself, clean up the coffee while saying some choice words and lamenting the fact that I have to go make MORE coffee.

WHEW, okay...rough start to the morning but I settle back in and get started. Then....wait....what is that noise? Is it a steam engine? Is it a pile driver? Ahhh, it's the next door neighbor with his sledge hammer. Apparently, he's deemed it appropriate to break apart the concrete BY HAND WITH A SLEDGE HAMMER. Really? Really!
So I escape up to the desk in my room to see if it helps. The answer is a resounding "NO!"

As he's obviously assigned some yard care tasks to his sons who are now mowing the lawn and, when able, bouncing a basketball repeatedly against the garage door.

I retreat back to the kitchen table, close all the doors and windows, crank up the ceiling fans and get back to work. All of a sudden this "putt putt putt" noise breaks through all the doors and windows, sounds like a steam engine locomotive starting up?!?! What kind of neighborhood is this? What have I been missing by working outside of the home? What do these people DO?!

I peer down through the backyard to the neighbors 2 houses down...I see some sort of old-fashioned John Deere tractor (obviously used for antique shows or something). Now I hear "putt putt putt....BANG, BANG (sledge hammer)....thud, thud (basket ball)....whirrrr, whirrr (leaf blower)....raaawwwwwr (lawn mower).

*Sigh* I throw in the towel, put on a ball cap and head for Liquid Highway. At least the sound of an espresso/cappuccino machine is somewhat soothing....and I still need to replace the coffee I spilled.....

As I leave the neighborhood, I have this sneaking suspicion that all noise will cease and things will return to a peaceful hum. I will never know, however. It's a little like wondering if the light in the refrigerator really goes off when you shut the door....

Dieting Minds Want To Know....Does Wine Count as a Serving of Fruit?!

So I'm on Day 3 of Weight Watchers....went to "the meeting" on Monday and had a total "cinematic moment" at the scale. It was one of those things where, if it had been a movie and I was on the big screen, The camera would have zoomed in on my face while the background would have zoomed out a la Jaws or any disaster movie. I saw the number written down....it was in slow motion. I could hear each stroke of the pen on the paper, drowned out everything else in the room. I did manage from dramatically throwing myself down to the ground and screaming, "NOOOOOOO". Very glad for that as I didn't need anymore embarrassment as all of the springs and pieces of the scale had shot out cartoon-like after I hefted myself up there. (not really but it sure felt like it was imminent)

Ok, so I'm on the diet wagon... counting points, measuring out 15 tiny twist pretzels, looking at everything through the red lines of a 1-cup measuring cup. YAY! This is going to be AWESOME! (please note the sarcasm). So I will keep you posted on the progress....Day 3 and things have gone swimmingly. Well, I mean, I would promise my first-born child for a pizza and pitcher of beer from Barley's or an order of Pollo Fundido from Monterrey's with a side of queso and guacamole with hot chips. So okay maybe "swimmingly" isn't the word....maybe begrudgingly. Must......remember.....size 10 jeans.....must.....fit.....into.....clothes.

So I circle back around to the Wine = a serving of fruit. I mean, grapes and all those anti-oxidants! It's gotta be good for me. What about beer? It's time for Oktoberfest....can I count the grains and water content as something good for me? I think so!

Happy Eating to All and to All a Good Bite!

Diet, Schmiet......GRRRRR!

So I ran some errands at lunch today. I was on a mission for the PERFECT birthday cards for 2 of my very awesomest friends who are celebrating this week. So, of course, the only place to go is SWOOZIE'S. This store is a wonderland for the 20- & 30- somethings who enjoy adult beverages, parties and have a TON of disposable income. I have been known to describe this store as "imagine if my 'taste' and 'style' along with my sense of humor and all the crazy stuff in my head at any given time sprang from my brain in the form of a retail venture".
Needless to say, if I had unlimited income, I'd own just about 2 of everything in that place. So I read all the cards trying to find the perfect ones for my "besties" then realize that I must have entered some sort of blackhole of time because my entire hour is almost gone! YIKES!
I think, "Ok sister...you're on your diet plan and don't want to get your a** kicked by the personal trainer tonight so make a good decision for your grab-and-go lunch". I saunter over to Panera Bread, passing up Cold Stone Creamery and Brixx. "Good Girl" I tell myself. "Salad and vegetarian soup, here I come!"
Some how, some way I walk out of there with a panini (tomato, mozzarella, basil), some chips, and a friggin' chocolate chip cookie the size of my head?!?!? I did have water to drink and I hadn't eaten anything since a bagel at 7:30am this morning but SHEESH! Again, some sort of blackhole....I don't even remember ordering....it's like that little "hungry monster" from the weight watchers commercials swooped in and ordered my lunch, paid for it, then shoved into my hands. Oh then he MADE me eat it ALL! Thank goodness I have a chance at redemption for dinner. I shall spend the rest of my day hunting down that little orange monster and torturing him. Maybe I'll run him over with my rental car. I did get the insurance.....

Quick Post....Calm my Anxious Mind, Heart, Foot....

Random, quick thought....I find it both humorous and ironic that I haven't had time to read my 2 chapters for Bible Study/Small Group tonight. The title is "Calm My Anxious Heart"! All about how to find calm, contentment and quiet time for yourself....LOL! Who has time for that?!?! =)

The "New" Economy

So I have unearthed what I consider to be a phenomenon of this new age that we're living in....WORKING FOR NO PAY! Now maybe I'm old-fashioned but I don't think expecting some sort of paycheck - salary, draw, SOMETHING - is too much to ask for!?
There seems to be an entire group of "business owners/leaders" in the Upstate of SC are fervently networking and social media-ing and sipping coffee, smoking cigars in an effort to grow their business while wanting those of us who are seeking work to slave away as "commission-only" employees....without benefits....without a contract....
I put business owners/leaders in quotes, by the way, for a very good reason. These are people who seem to have some sort of LLC or DBA situation, SEEM to work very hard as they're always running around, SEEM to have new ideas, SEEM to have their finger on the pulse of Upstate business....but, at the end of the day, they're cashless, stressed out, burning business bridges and wearing out their welcomes at many of the reputable business affinity groups in the area and spending what little cash they do have on cigars, liquor and coffee....oh and fancy technology gadgets, too. Apparently it's a requirement to have an iPhone or comparable toy to be a member of this group.
So, if you're reading this and you're truly wanting to grow your business, move away from the idea that people are desperate enough to work for nothing but the promise of a "big payoff" down the road. Buck up, put your big boy boxers/big girl panties on and write a solid business plan, get a REAL loan from a REAL bank and carefully choose employees that will actually bring you a real return for real pay.
Just a thought.....

This is One Small Blog for Man, One Giant Google for Dana-kind!

I've been meaning to start blogging for a while now but just wasn't convinced anyone would care about the weird, funny, sad, silly details of MY lil' ol' life.  However, I have seen the blogspot "light" and am entering bravely into this world of blogging.  

You will see my struggles with the job world, trying to be fit, my desire to be WAY more than I am, my faith journey, my 2 cats and many, many, many other fun things!

Please post, share and respond to my posts!  Your feedback is part of what makes this whole thing go'round.