No, You Can't!

An open letter to those "UN-like minded" whom I may have riled as of late.  For those of you who now feel, more strongly than ever, that I may have "gone off the reservation" so to speak.... Here is my defense, my raison d'etre as far as my political world is concerned.

I do not kick puppies, nor do I desire to watch the sick and disabled wither without compassionate care... I do not hate old people who need medicine nor do I hate people who are different than I am in any way.  I do not oppose immigrants from all over the world coming here to seek their own, individual American dream.  The fact is, I truly love animals and our senior citizens... I love & admire many who are "different" in some way.  I admire those that travel across the world to be here... Legally!  I do, however, oppose vehemently anything that means increased government control, the growth of bureaucracy and more federal interference in our personal lives and personal choices.  I oppose illegals streaming across our borders to suck our broken "system" dry of aid & entitlements.  I oppose the Federal government and the Supreme Court telling me that I have to purchase something and, if I don’t, face a penalty.  To read one simple schematic on what this is going to cost those of us between the $35,000 - $120,000/year wage earners, would make most people weep with fear at what has just been loaded onto our shoulders.

Due to these recent events, I feel compelled to defend myself using facts and arguments that show that I am not just using talking points, I DO think for myself and no matter how guilty you try to make me feel with your overly liberal sob stories that attempt to tug on people's heart-strings (avoiding logic that would tug on people's brain matter) you will NOT change my mind.  Period.

In regard to the recent ruling by the Supreme Court, Some have implied that "gosh, don’t you want to help people get the healthcare they need... I'd spare some of my money to assist someone in need (the few paying for the money”... Classic socialism) I simply say to you that it is neither your right nor your privilege to tell me where & how I spend my hard earned money.  If you feel convicted to assist the less fortunate by paying part or their entire share, then please, by all means, donate... Sacrifice your tax refund (if those still exist after this year), give up your lattes... Whatever you wish but do NOT tell me that I HAVE to do the same thing.  My money is not YOUR money.  The very fact that we are taxed like we are currently under the I.R.S. is through a bastardization & exploitation of our Constitution.  It is not acceptable for citizens or our supposed representative democracy to mandate or force "charitable donations".  I do not agree with the framework, the statutes, the 1000's of additional public-sector jobs that will be created, the mandates, the procedures that will be covered by federal dollars (I.e., YOUR tax dollars).  In addition, millions of ILLEGAL immigrants will now receive "benefits" under this new mandate... YES!  That IS part of this plan... Are you okay with your "mandatory charitable donation" going to those on generational welfare and illegal immigrants??  Fine by me but don't make me do the same.  What if I were to tell you that I felt convicted that everyone should pay a percentage of their income to homeless animals and to nursing home citizens and military families... You may disagree, right!?

This new tax will continue to tighten the stranglehold already choking the private sector... The sector that is providing these "taxes" and, now, "penalties" to cover more generational welfare, more bureaucracy, more illegal immigrants.  The private sector, personal freedom, personal choice will be snuffed out like a candle without oxygen.  The economy is contracting at a rate not seen since 2009… can’t blame THIS one on “W” anymore, can you?  The Federal Food Stamp roll has increased by anywhere from 75% to 100% since the “immaculated one” ambushed the White House… the People’s House.  We have signed onto what is essentially a new entitlement program while the private sector’s framework is already groaning under the weight of all the other entitlements that we already can’t afford (Social Security is Bankrupt, Medicare is broken, Food Stamps have become a product to market with commercials).  This “person living in the White House” seems to track his success by how many of his “subjects” are on the dole.  Smart, observant Americans see this and understand that we simply cannot afford this type of “nanny state government” just as we determine what our household can afford and do away with what is unnecessary & unattainable to live within our means.  A majority of the American people did NOT want this based on this logic, it’s yet another fact that many refuse to acknowledge.  If you were to run your household like this, you’d be a failure.  If you ran your small business like this, it would go under OR you’d be fired by the owner. 

So if you disregard all of this letter and think I’m a raging lunatic in need of a dose of some Hollywood starlet’s diatribe on why “Nobama” is the savior or in need of some time spent in the slums of an immigrant camp a la a CNN feature story to realize the plight of these “Illegals” and think I just am too much of a stuffy old conservative bitty who doesn’t have a “worldly view”, I have one more sentiment for you…

For those who chant a "live and let live" attitude it’s painfully obvious to me and those like me that you really only want that if it means their way becomes the mandated "norm" ... Anything else is wrong, bad, unacceptable.... A classic double standard.  All points of view, all religions, and all political beliefs are protected except conservative views, except for Christianity, except for Constitutional / libertarian / republican views.... What so many of you fail to see is that those of us who are true constitutionalists, those who believe in small government really believe in MORE choice, more freedom, more tolerance to do what you want as long as it doesn't infringe on others' Constitutional rights.  You want us to all conform to this socialist mandate yet if we ask the feds to support immigrants CONFORMING to provide identification and proof of citizenship, you scream ‘FOUL’!  Figure it out… read some books or, better yet, read the U.S. Constitution, The Declaration of Independence, Thomas Paine’s “Common Sense” and anything scripted by any of the rest of the Founding Fathers.  Oh… and check out the European Union that you so badly want us to follow… yeah, they’re not doing so well are they!?  Awwwww… SAD.

I'm sure I've angered some further and, hopefully, made a few see where I am coming from.... Either way, this is my right, protected by our dear Constitution.... For now....

Missing: 1 Dana; Last Seen: Rambling About Spreasheets

I have NOT fallen off the face of the earth... it's a fact! Do not send out a search party, do not put my face on a milk carton... unless it's in an effort to find me a man! LOL.... just kidding.... (sort of)

Indeed, I've been M.I.A. a lot in the last 5 months thanks to a new job and new paycheck! It has been a long road to get settled into things with this new role/employer. My conclusion is that it takes a good, solid 3 months to acclimate and orient oneself to this world. I mean... it took me 2 weeks to find my way back from the cafeteria without getting turned around, and, occasionally, getting caught up in a tour group. After that point, there is a new clarity and comfort-level that settles in, seemingly, overnight. I'm pleased... it's still challenging at times but I can handle that with no issue.

After reflecting on the transition from being unemployed and eagerly seeking a new job opportunity to actually working every day in a very new, unfamiliar, different environment, I've concluded that there is more involved than simply "going back to work"...

This "whole new world" of new employment created a situation for me where my friends all thought I'd forsaken them and my family wondered if I'd finally gone crazy (afterall, to them, I'm sure it seems imminent). I came home from work in a stupor and fell asleep at 8pm after babbling about terms, projects and tasks that I didn't understand and was sure were some colossal joke! I'd get up the next day to do it all over again then, on weekends, I stayed in the bed, cowering under the covers as if I'd be beamed back to the work place if so much as a toe touched the floor. I literally cleared my calendar for about 2 months... no happy hours, no week night outings, no gym, no family gatherings. This included weekends for the most part; at least as much as was possible. I focused solely on acclimating myself to this new job. Parts of it were horrifying to me, the people were somehow different, the processes were dumbfounding and, at times, I had to wonder if I was on some sort of job-related 'Candid Camera' because certainly these people can't be serious about some of the draconian processes... right?! I've spent untold hours since beginning my new job doing spreadsheets. I now sort thoughts and ideas into tidy little cells and see formulas, pivot tables and graphs in my sleep.

I think the most laughingly moronic exercise was the steps taken to obtain a new folder for my hanging files. In acquiring said folder, here are the steps required: 1) Locate badge to gain access to department storage room (that also doubles as a very small conference room... VERY small); 2) Locate key to cabinet which usually involves going back to office to rummage through co-workers desk to find keys with cryptic labeling; 3) Go back to storage room and use above mentioned key to open cabinet and locate a second set of keys (also poorly labeled); 4) Pick out key to open cabinet in which folder is located.... FINALLY, a folder.... praises!! Lock cabinet, put key back in other cabinet, lock cabinet with keys obtained from co-workers desk, make sure door to storage room is locked, "badge" myself into office, place keys back in co-workers desk. NOW, I can put the 1 item into its newly and painfully acquired folder. The first time I had to do this, I swear I was gone for about 30 minutes... insanity?! After commenting that it was quite a laborious process to get a folder, I was met with stares that said, "what are you talking about? Isn't that normal?" "YES... if you work for the CIA or FBI..." I had to wonder about the level of importance of my seemingly mundane folder... were they special? Were they super-high-tech? Could my folder organize and file itself?

Meanwhile, I was tasked with ensuring that our team's desks were organized according to a standard that, essentially, created a workstation that could be used by anyone in the event I (or anyone) was hit by a bus and someone else needed to use my desk to fill in for me and do my job. In this standard, it was recommended that we label the desk with words like "stapler", "tape dispenser", "phone" so that these items were always in their correct space. Outlining the item in tape was encouraged... like a little chalk outline of a body at a crime scene but in the shape of a stapler... IMAGINE?! Once we were satisfied that our workstations were "standardized" for any "squashed by a bus scenarios", pictures were taken of our desks and then posted on our wall to show what our desk SHOULD look like at all times. This posted picture is to be featured in the posted picture that hangs on my cubicle wall... I'll give you a minute on that one....... ok, pencils down kids.

My only question is, "where is this bus and how do I get in front of it?!" Only kidding... in my scenario for the reasoning behind my desk being organized and purposefully set-up, I've won the lottery and just don't ever come back to work. Those left behind to do my work can rest easy knowing my stapler is in its appropriate spot... I know that will make doing my job easier for them.....

Auld Lang Syne.... Happy 2011!

Here we go, again.... "on my ownnnn....goin' down the only road I've ever knownnnn..." Oh, wait, I broke into 80's rock lyrics. Lemme get off the hood of this Trans Am and get on with my blog.

I suppose I could prattle on about resolutions or world events or wax poetic about the cold gray-ness of winter but why be predictable?! I begin this year looking for work (AGAIN!) yet I find myself perplexed and confused as to where to go next. People ask me, in all fairness, "what do you do?" or "what do you WANT to do?" In my mind I stammer and grope for something that sounds lucid. What usually comes out is, "Well I can do a lot of things and I want to do a lot of things so I should find a job in which I can do a lot of things." WHAT?!?! uhhhhhh....

I literally can't come up with my very own elevator pitch even though I've coached many a job-seeker on this very thing. The trouble is I'm not a cookie cutter employee. If I were an engineer or an accountant or an outright sales person or a teacher.... IF, IF, IF! Yeah, IF I'd been more astute in college and gotten a degree in something useful and IF I'd done an internship and IF I'd used the lack-luster, crusty ol' Career Services Department and IF I'd stuck with something longer in the face of challenges.... "if wishes were fishes, there'd be no room in the river for water."

So here I am facing yet another frustrating, humbling, mind-numbing job search. I have possibly narrowed down my choices to a couple of areas but still find myself searching, not knowing quite what it is that I "do". I've actually been told that I'm too experienced in too many different areas. Again, uhhhhhh.... You just can't ask people for help in finding a job without a concise job title! Forget being talented in multiple areas with amazing experience in a variety of industries. No-sirree that will NOT do! Pigeon-hole yourself, put yourself in a box and then you can breathe a sigh of relief if you find yourself looking for work. WHEW! You'll be happy that you limited yourself, trust me!

I'm by no means throwing myself a pity party or having a "O woe is me" (to quote the great Bard) moment. I just felt it was my duty to make the public aware that people with diverse, even crazy backgrounds can be a great hire! Please don't dismiss us... we know we've not treated our careers with the respect they've always deserved and we know we've not always made the right decisions along the ol' career path BUT we have experience, scrappiness, wild devotion to pleasing those that appreciate us and have moved beyond the career mistakes of the past.... Can you?

Who Moved My Helium Tank?!

Ever feel like a balloon that's had all of its air/helium let out of it?? You're filled up with hope (air) and tied up with pretty ribbons (dreams) then float in anticipation of all that COULD be. Other balloons in the bunch float away to adventures unknown but you don't THEN, you realize, all of your air has slowly leaked out through poor choices, missed opportunities, heartache & pain...

All of a sudden, you realize that you're deflated. Instead of the brightly colored, curly ribbons that were your outward confidence and ambition you now see them as lack-luster and constricting, even confusing.

I know this feeling... all too well! I look forward and see blankness. I guess some would say it's a "blank slate", an "empty canvas" that is full of potential and possibilities. I just see what could have been but know won't ever actually be.... I look at my so-called-career and wonder what's next while fretting over the poor choices I've made along the way. "Will anyone take a chance on me?" I ask myself. Laughingly, I realize that this question is not only applicable to my career life but my personal life. At least I've got it all consolidated! I see that the work world is very different now and a lot of us are victims of circumstances outside of our control. "But what about the stupid mistakes I've made along the way that were all my fault!?"

I find that many of the struggles we face in our life come down to the same questions. The problem is figuring out the answers! The fear is that the "answers" are out there, everywhere that the other balloons went... but I'm lying limp, deflated with some fading ribbons. "Hmmpph! Now what!?... Where is my lift, my sustenance, my hope... and why have my ribbons lost their brillian curl?"

Days roll on, although shorter now, and I continue to search the job boards for my next adventure. It all seems so unimportant, though. I look at these jobs and wonder, "does this job have any meaning? Will it be just another 'job'? If so, is that what I want?" My answer, over and over again, is "I DON'T KNOW!?!!". Until I have that answer or until the perfect opportunity comes my way, I'll hang on to my ribbons and hold onto whatever little bit of "lift" I have left and pray...

Carousel: (Seemingly) A spinning collage of bliss and fun.... but how do I get on?

There's something about being a 34-year-old single gal who is sharing a home with a family member that lends itself to spending a good deal of time contemplating your life. Who woulda' thunk it, right!?!? In the past few days, I've had some realizations. Things that aren't super fun or motivating to learn about myself but more importantly, not fun to realize about others. BUT, that's what life is all about, right?!? Learning about ourselves as we trek through the muck & grime of life's path. (Insert lame life-lesson cliche of your choice here)

Realization #1 - I'M 34 YEARS OLD WITH NO PROSPECTS OF LEAVING SINGLE-DOM AND JOINING THE BETROTHED WORLD. This is okay, if I convince myself of the most heard cliche in my life: "you just haven't met the right one, he's out there, you just wait". UMMM (raising my hand timidly as if I was in 9th grade Algebra all over again), how long am I to wait exactly?? Here's the thing... I'm smart and, more importantly, wise enough to know that I don't need to or want to "settle". I realize that I need to find that person that is first and foremost a best friend. Got it! Now, how to find that. I've wasted untold amounts of money trying the 2 big sites of the online dating world. NOTHING! NADA! ZIP! ZILCH! I shall not continue to pad their bank accounts. And leading me to this decision...

Realization #2 - Life is a freakin' carousel! It looks all pretty, shiny, whimsical. OOOOOOOH! "These people look so happy!" I get closer. It's not a carousel of horses, giraffes, tigers, lions.... it's a carousel of life. Wedding bells, new homes, baby carriages, beach vacations in place of the typical animals. I try to jump on as we did when we were kids and trying to hop on the merry-go-round after it was already spinning. I get ready, keep trying to make the leap but just can't quite grab onto it. I look like a cat preparing to pounce on prey except without the actual pounce so essentially I look like I'm having some sort of seizure. "How do you get ON this thing?" Wait, these people are happy but I also see some strained smiles, furrowed brows and anxious kids in soccer uniforms. So maybe this ride isn't all that great? Or maybe it's great for some but not for others... not all it's cracked up to be? Regardless, it's a carousel. It's going by me, spinning slowly but not slow enough to be able to just hop on without effort. "I want to get on and enjoy it ALL! Don't I?" I'm a bystander watching the folks in my sphere of influence raise their kids, fawn over their handsome husbands, take nice vacations, fix up their homes together. "There's got to be a way onto this crazy-wild-fun-amazing-sometimes-sad-spinning machine of pretty colors and smiles?!!"

So I wander off leaving the carousel and its happy-but-sorta-creepy organ music playing. Maybe I'll just get a big, overpriced beer and a funnel cake then work my over to the "Fun House". At least I know what that's about; it's not fun, it's frightening so no secret there. Or I may go to the "Lucky Duck" booth and maybe, just maybe I'll pick the winning duck. Nah.... I'll just stick with the beer and funnel cake.

Lifting Up Prayer

I normally use this outlet to take a humorous look at life but would like to use this blog today as a way to express sympathy to those affected by the earthquake in Haiti.

"God, guide relief workers, humanitarian agencies as they assess the damage and assist victims during relief and recovery efforts. "

Psalms 31:3

The prayer above is for those that are the cornerstone of disaster relief, recovery, rescue. This is a nation that suffers greatly even during the best of times. The kind word or simple kind gesture of a humanitarian worker may bring the love of Christ to someone who feels very far away from God's grace right now.

The prayer below is for the hurting, lost, and scared people that are in the midst of this disaster. My hope is that, in the chaos, they will hear God's reassurance. May this reassurance be enough to give them the will to persevere.

"God, give those adversely affected by tragedy a faith so strong that it will move mountains."

Matthew 17:20

PRAY WITHOUT CEASING!

Facebook Fast

Happy 2010 to All! Sorry for the delay in posting something new and exciting but with the holiday whirlwind and the following deep freeze, I've been in a sort of hibernation. Including putting on extra layers of fat to keep me warm ... unfortunately! Thanks to this I've begun a new workout regimen (novel idea, huh ... starting a new exercise routine in January) and am eating super healthy. Well, okay, not SUPER healthy but way better than before the holidays. I mean, I am eating celery sticks for snacks for goodness' sake people!

The best news I have to report is that this was probably the best Christmas my family has had since losing my father. We still have a hole in our hearts for him and miss him something fierce, especially at the holidays but we (mom & I) really threw ourselves into the season this year hosting get-togethers, attended fun events, baked our hearts out, gave out homemade gifts and spent a lot of time watching cheesy Christmas movies by the fire. What more could we ask for?!?!

Now January lumbers in and settles over us like a wet blanket. Well, to be exact, a COLD wet blanket. This uncharacteristically cold weather is taking a toll on us physically (My skin is drier than a southerner's humor towards newly arrived yankees) and emotionally. It's getting dark early, it's freezing cold (literally) and college football is over. In light of these gloomy facts, I've decided to use this continued hibernation to re-center myself spiritually. My church has encouraged a 21-Day Fast. I chose to give up Facebook for 21 days!! I know what you're thinking, "What about your crops in Farmville?!" "What about keeping up with what everyone is having for dinner?!" "What about not being informed of critical information like what color my friends' bras are?!" It will be tough. It will be tempting. It will be .... FREEING! I can use this time to finish the 3 books I have started. I can also actually CALL or, even better, SEE friends instead of "Facebooking" them. (another novel idea, huh?!)

At this point, I'm sure most of you are thinking, "Yeah Yeah Yeah nice blog on the holidays and cold weather but what about the dating life!?" Am I right?

Let's just put it this way. I have come to a very BIG realization recently. That realization is ... (drumroll please) ... I am NOT going to go out with someone just to have something to do or to say that I have plans or to get out of the house. I don't need that, I'm happy and content in my own skin and as far as being my own company. Just because I'm at home on a Saturday evening does NOT equate to me being bored. In fact, it most likely means I'm quite content.... happy even. I LOVE a night in wearing my PJs, wathcing a movie and spending time with the cat. Call me crazy if you want. I bet I'm happier and better off than getting plastered at 221 or Sharkey's every weekend. I've tried to force the issue in the dating world and continue to meet certain guys for "dates" to see where it goes, if feelings would develop, see what makes them tick but I'm done with that.

I am not defined by who I am dating nor by IF I am dating. What started as considering a sabbatical from Facebook has opened me up to realizing that I can cultivate friendships, work on my health, organize my life and "snowball" my debt and generally become a more whole person. Don't get me wrong, I truly hope to meet someone super special this year. That person who is my best friend, my partner in crime, dare I say my soul-mate. I know God has a plan and has this person picked out. My goal is to learn to be patient and to follow His path and guidance to get me to this person.

Here's to 2010. Here's to a FABULOUS new job. Here's to being Debt-Free. Here's to being Okay With Me.

Stay Thirsty My Friends!