Ever feel like a balloon that's had all of its air/helium let out of it?? You're filled up with hope (air) and tied up with pretty ribbons (dreams) then float in anticipation of all that COULD be. Other balloons in the bunch float away to adventures unknown but you don't THEN, you realize, all of your air has slowly leaked out through poor choices, missed opportunities, heartache & pain...
All of a sudden, you realize that you're deflated. Instead of the brightly colored, curly ribbons that were your outward confidence and ambition you now see them as lack-luster and constricting, even confusing.
I know this feeling... all too well! I look forward and see blankness. I guess some would say it's a "blank slate", an "empty canvas" that is full of potential and possibilities. I just see what could have been but know won't ever actually be.... I look at my so-called-career and wonder what's next while fretting over the poor choices I've made along the way. "Will anyone take a chance on me?" I ask myself. Laughingly, I realize that this question is not only applicable to my career life but my personal life. At least I've got it all consolidated! I see that the work world is very different now and a lot of us are victims of circumstances outside of our control. "But what about the stupid mistakes I've made along the way that were all my fault!?"
I find that many of the struggles we face in our life come down to the same questions. The problem is figuring out the answers! The fear is that the "answers" are out there, everywhere that the other balloons went... but I'm lying limp, deflated with some fading ribbons. "Hmmpph! Now what!?... Where is my lift, my sustenance, my hope... and why have my ribbons lost their brillian curl?"
Days roll on, although shorter now, and I continue to search the job boards for my next adventure. It all seems so unimportant, though. I look at these jobs and wonder, "does this job have any meaning? Will it be just another 'job'? If so, is that what I want?" My answer, over and over again, is "I DON'T KNOW!?!!". Until I have that answer or until the perfect opportunity comes my way, I'll hang on to my ribbons and hold onto whatever little bit of "lift" I have left and pray...
All of a sudden, you realize that you're deflated. Instead of the brightly colored, curly ribbons that were your outward confidence and ambition you now see them as lack-luster and constricting, even confusing.
I know this feeling... all too well! I look forward and see blankness. I guess some would say it's a "blank slate", an "empty canvas" that is full of potential and possibilities. I just see what could have been but know won't ever actually be.... I look at my so-called-career and wonder what's next while fretting over the poor choices I've made along the way. "Will anyone take a chance on me?" I ask myself. Laughingly, I realize that this question is not only applicable to my career life but my personal life. At least I've got it all consolidated! I see that the work world is very different now and a lot of us are victims of circumstances outside of our control. "But what about the stupid mistakes I've made along the way that were all my fault!?"
I find that many of the struggles we face in our life come down to the same questions. The problem is figuring out the answers! The fear is that the "answers" are out there, everywhere that the other balloons went... but I'm lying limp, deflated with some fading ribbons. "Hmmpph! Now what!?... Where is my lift, my sustenance, my hope... and why have my ribbons lost their brillian curl?"
Days roll on, although shorter now, and I continue to search the job boards for my next adventure. It all seems so unimportant, though. I look at these jobs and wonder, "does this job have any meaning? Will it be just another 'job'? If so, is that what I want?" My answer, over and over again, is "I DON'T KNOW!?!!". Until I have that answer or until the perfect opportunity comes my way, I'll hang on to my ribbons and hold onto whatever little bit of "lift" I have left and pray...
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